Low Libido: Why Does It Happen

7 symptoms of low libido in men and 5 causes and ways to treat this

Now I do not know about you, but when it comes to things in this world that I want to do more than others, sex is up on that list around the top. And why wouldn’t it be, we are basically pre-programmed to like it and want it on a pretty regular basis. So what does it mean, or what does it say about a guy when their thing doesn’t work? The first thing you would probably think is that there just must be something wrong with you, maybe you are just not the guy you thought you were anymore, maybe this is just it for your love life as you know it. Well, generally speaking, none of that could be further from the truth.

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What causes it

It is called “Low Libido” and while it is pretty embarrassing for a lot of guys to bring themselves to talk about it, it really does happen to a lot of us. It may go against the stereotype that all guys want is one thing and that’s sex but who cares what “they” think… well okay you probably do but it really does help to talk to someone especially your lover and your doctor. There are a lot of reasons why this might be happening to you and it is always a good idea to look into all of them equally to get to the truth.

So what really causes low libido? And, more importantly, is it a physical condition or is it psychological. Is the physical condition a sign of something more serious? The list can do on and on but what we are going to do is start at the basics and try to work our way up from there. 

Chemical imbalance

Physically speaking, I would say one of the most common reasons guys tend to not be in the mood is due to that ever so famous chemical known as testosterone. It makes us big, it makes us tough, it makes us mean, and most of all it makes us horny. So if you experience a dip in that lovely chemical then chances are your libido is going to wane with it among other things. Low testosterone can have a number of root causes ranging from the type of medication you are taking to the amount of exercise you are doing. Scientifically and as with most things, drugs and alcohol can almost always be the cause of things like this so if you know that you are an avid indulgent then it might be high time to accept that and learn to sober up.


[March 2020 – Patient opinions]

It started back when I was a junior in high school. I played high school football as a receiver and received a pretty serious concussion and brain injury. Ever since then I have been dealing with erectile dysfunction.

At the beginning, I had told no one of the symptoms because it was simply too embarrassing to bring up at the doctors in front of my family. Could you or anybody expect a young man to admit that in front of people he knows? It was also difficult to bring up to the girlfriend… impossible even. So I never became intimate with her again and she thought it was her fault. I went with that excuse and broke up with her because that was better than admitting I had a problem down there.

So there I was, hopping from girl to girl and never admitting to anyone that it was me who had the problem with intimacy, not them. It was frustrating not only because I couldn’t be intimate with girls I liked but because I could barely do anything to myself.

It wasn’t until I met my current wife, Christina, when she had joked about me having problems “down there.” I blurted out that I did. Apparently, she had dated someone who had the same problem as me and asked me if I have seen a doctor about it. I said no and she helped me see a physician.

I learned from her that it really isn’t such an uncommon and emasculating condition. There are plenty of treatments for it, ranging from medications like Viagra / Cialis in Australia to surgeries for the more extreme circumstances. I learned that doctors are very generous with their knowledge and never made me feel ashamed or embarrassed for having the condition. In fact, they seemed more than happy to help.

From my experience, I want all men to know that there is a solution to erectile dysfunction and there is no shame in seeking help and admitting you have a problem because it can be fixed. I had to try several different medications in various dosages (some combinations did nothing at all and some, well, did WAY too much!) but after a few months of getting it dialed in I was back in the bedroom better than ever before!

I was also recommended to see a psychologist in addition to the medications because it is very common in men experiencing erectile dysfunction to have significant mental barriers or blocks that will add to their problems in the bedroom. Sometimes even with a strong dosage of medication, a mental barrier will block you from performing at your best so it is a good idea to see a psychologist if you have negative feelings about your Erectile Dysfunction.

Just remember: ED is a lot more common than you’d think, and there’s a ton of resources and solutions for it out there! Now get out there and find your solution!


Back to the low testosterone thing, the first questions I would probably be asking you is just how old you are. Facts are facts, and low testosterone occurs in roughly forty percent of all men over the age of 45. It may not be the most widely accepted procedure, but if you feel like your age is causing you to be less interested in sex that you are personally okay with, you can generally go through with something known as testosterone replacement therapy. It is a well known and fairly common solution to this type of problem.

Don’t get me wrong, I would highly recommend you simply look into getting yourself to a healthier place in your life first, but i’m not ya mother, so you do what you feel you need to do after consulting with your doctor.

Psychological factors

As far as psychological problems go, a lot of men, especially these days, are dealing with a growing list of stressful situations that they would likely rather not be dealing with. Things like depression, stress, and simply relationship problems are leading causes of why men’s libido fail in the first place.

Relationship problems

This is probably going to seem more condescending than I ever mean it to be, but if you really are having relationship problems you may want to ask a few questions. Are you happy enough in your relationship to make it work? If so, are you willing to talk to someone about it? Basically, if you feel like your love life is worth saving, then nut up and talk to the person you love. They already don’t deserve to know why you can’t get your motor started, but leaving them out of the solution is a double whammy. Be open and honest, tell them about and pressures you are under.

Therapy helps

You may even need to go see a couples counselor, a personal therapist, or heck you may even need to see both. Whatever you do, be confident and know that you can solve anything if you put your mind to it. So be safe out there everyone.

Dr. Dylan Cook

Dr. Cook lived in numerous cities growing up and finished his medicinal school at the University of Minnesota, following that up with a residency in Idaho, before returning to his preferred state Colorado. Dylan Cook, MD, is a Board Guaranteed Family Prescription Doctor with more than 20 years of clinical experience.

21 thoughts on “Low Libido: Why Does It Happen

  1. I am a man who suffers with low libido. The hardest part about dealing with this is the knowledge of the inadequacy it raises in my partner. The culture is rife with lessons to people to be scared of a time when their partners have low libido as if it informs a problem of unfaithfulness. Being adverse to sex does not mean that.

  2. I used to have sex with any girl I wanted. Now i am in a relationship having sex with just one person. For some reason I only feel like having sex with her twice a month instead of every day now. I want to start taking some sort of supplement because all I want is to please my girlfriend and I fell like I am failing.

  3. Physical issues that can cause low libido include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological issues can include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship. About 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone.
    Low libido describes a decreased interest in sexual activity.

    It’s common to lose interest in sex from time to time, and libido levels vary through life. It’s also normal for your interest not to match your partner’s at times.

    However, low libido for a long period of time may cause concern for some people. It can sometimes be an indicator of an underlying health condition.

    Here are a few potential causes of low libido in men.

    Low testosterone


    Low Sex Drive: Common Causes and Treatment
    Low T
    Restless legs syndrome
    Chronic illness
    Sleep problems
    Low self-esteem
    Drug use
    Side effects of low libido
    Q&A: When to be concerned
    What is low libido?
    Low libido describes a decreased interest in sexual activity.

    It’s common to lose interest in sex from time to time, and libido levels vary through life. It’s also normal for your interest not to match your partner’s at times.

    However, low libido for a long period of time may cause concern for some people. It can sometimes be an indicator of an underlying health condition.

    Here are a few potential causes of low libido in men.

    Low testosterone
    Testosterone is an important male hormone. In men, it’s mostly produced in the testicles.

    Testosterone is responsible for building muscles and bone mass, and for stimulating sperm production. Your testosterone levels also factor into your sex drive.

    Normal testosterone levels will vary. However, adult men are considered to have low testosterone, or low T, when their levels fall below 300 nanograms per deciliter (ng/dL), according to guidelines from the American Urological Association (AUA).

    When your testosterone levels decrease, your desire for sex also decreases.

    Decreasing testosterone is a normal part of aging. However, a drastic drop in testosterone can lead to decreased libido.

    Talk to your doctor if you think this might be an issue for you. You may be able to take supplements or gels to increase your testosterone levels.

  4. As the girlfriend to a man with low libido I can confidently say that it causes strain in relationships. This can be combated through strong communication of needs and willingness to find solutions or heightened through avoidance of the subject.

  5. I am a young male who grew up with the personal choice to wait to engage in sexual activity until marriage. I restrained from engaging in sexual activities with girlfriends, but it would upset them. I’ve gone without a girlfriend for more than three years, and I have no desire to even think about having a sexual encounter. I don’t know if my initial choice to wait until marriage caused my low sex drive. Even when I see a very attractive woman, I don’t have racy thoughts or excitement run through my mind or body.

  6. My friend was complaining about his low libido the other day. He could not understand why it was happening. I recommended that he should ask a doctor about a testosterone check, his medication, and consider his stress levels.

  7. When I first started having a lowered libido, my wife thought that I was no longer attracted to her, and that lead to much tension between the two of us. I tried explaining to her that I was still very much attracted to her, but to her it just seemed like I was covering my tracks. She even thought that I may be cheating on her (ironic seeing as how I couldn’t make myself “function” properly for sex) For the longest time I had no idea what was wrong with me, but after consulting with my doctor, I have decided to change my diet, and to exercise more. I think it is important to make healthy choices with your libido in mind, as sex can make or break a relationship.

  8. I have recently gone through a really tough time. I turned 45 and my wife also decided to leave me. I have been so depressed and just not the same as I was. I have tried to have one night stands, but nothing is happening. i feel like I am not experiencing any sexual desire.

  9. Imagine my surprise when I was 35, in the best shape of my life, with a beautiful woman, and had no sex drive. I couldnt believe it. I thought I had been doing everything right for my body. It turns out that the 3 hours a day in the gym killed my libido. I literally could not care any less for having sex at all. I had to realize that I was not doing well for myself by over working, but I was hurting myself and my girl. After some changes, all came back to normal.

  10. As a 46 year old male with occasional low libido episodes I can tell you that this issue can be improved. Some causes of low libido in men are low testosterone, medication use, alcohol and drug use, and too little or too much exercise. However, this can be improved. Here are some things that can help boost your libido level: Manage your anxiety. If you are anxious about this, talk with your partner and improve your relationship quality. Focus more on foreplay, it will be more enjoyable for both of you. Get a good night’s sleep. Improve your diet quality. Try herbal remedies, watermelon is known to help improve libido levels. Get regular exercise and maintain a healthy weight. All these things can help improve libido levels in men. If these things fail, talk to your doctor about testing for low testosterone levels.

  11. One time I was dating a guy who was very kind and sweet but never seem to make a move on me. I put it off as he was just being polite and respectful until we barely kissed on the second month of dating. I thought there was something wrong with me but when I asked him he explained he had a low libido and did find me attractive. Things worked out with the right medications if you know what I mean.

  12. My husband has been very stressed and down lately. Depression has set in after many financial struggles and recently losing a friend to alcoholism. As a side effect to depression, his libido has been very low and it has been hard for him to deal with. He has never faced something like this and is thinking about going to a doctor to see what can be done. I have been encouraging and supportive to him and try to help him stay positive. I am sure there are many others who deal with similar situations and there has to be a variety of solutions and treatments that can be of use. I think he will be making an appointment this week with his doc to see what can be done. I know this must be very frustrating to men as it is something that is not always easy to fix. There are so many factors in life that affect you in many ways, both physically and emotionally.

  13. according to my doctor it is due to my low testosterone, but for as long as i can remember i just have never really had all that much interest in being sexually active, even when i have had the chance to in the past. Now that i am with someone my low libido is causing relationship problems so i am currently working on some treatments with my doctor to make things right for her.

  14. i have always felt weird about talking about this topic as in this day and age there is stigma surrounding this topic. I had a girlfriend who always wanted to have sex quite a lot, about 7 times or more a day. Don’t get me wrong i wanted to as well but for some reason i could not get it up as much as i wanted. At first i assumed it was because i was not as attracted to her as i thought i was but even when i tried to imagine other things that would get me there i couldn’t no matter how hard i tried. i feel i should talk to someone about this but i am scared.

  15. Low libido in men can happen slowly over time. My husband used to have a very high sex drive, but as he’s gotten older and gained a little weight, he just isn’t all that interested in sex most of the time. It’s not a problem. Changes happen in life. It’s likely his low libido won’t last for long.

  16. Low libido affects about 31 percent of men from all ages so know you are not alone. I have always had confidence issues especially when it comes to the bedroom. It becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and it bleeds into other aspects of your life. It affects how you view yourself and how you view others as well as how others view you. It leads to depression and anxiety which in turn lead to more low libido, depression, etc. You can see the cycle.. However there are natural ways to combat it. Exercise, diet and general health have a huge affect on libido. I have started eating healthier, taking horny goat weed, and engage in an exercise routine regularly. Because of this, I am building more confidence in myself, and I have noticed an increase in my ability to be aroused. It’s just a matter of staying on routine and breaking old habits, it’s hard I know, believe me! But if I can do it, so can you!!

  17. My husband who is 42 is beginning to think that his libido is slowing down. I think he’s crazy, the man wants sex every damn day. A few of his friends are beginning to experience ED problems though and he’s convinced he’s next. If the day comes I know there will be plenty of treatment options for him, but I have my doubts that he will need them.

  18. Physical issues that can cause low libido include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological issues can include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship. About 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone.This can lead to tension and conflicts between him and his partner, which may in turn lead to fewer sexual encounters and more relationship issues. Failure to perform due to ED can trigger feelings of depression, self-esteem issues, and poor body image.

  19. Low libido in men can occur if they become overworked and do not exercise regularly. Exercise not only builds endurance and strength, but can often lead to more stamina, confidence, and desire. Weight training and resistance exercises also contribute to the creation of testosterone, which gives men a strong boost in their libido. Speaking from experience, being overworked will also diminish a man’s desire to seek out sexual intimacy. Not only are men tired from long hours at work, but they tend to want to relax instead of exerting more energy getting into a physical tussle with a loved one. With this in mind, exercise is more important than ever if a man feels he is being overworked. While it can seem like it’s counter-intuitive, exercise is one of the best ways to regain one’s sexual drive.

  20. Low libido in men is common. Doctors often stress the import of sexuality in relationships. It is not often that relationships succeed without intimacy. Low libido can influence sexual attraction to the point where there is none. Usually a partner is the only one initiating. A low sex drive causes many complication both in the bedroom and within one’s own psychology. Reasons include low testosterone, prescription medicines, too little or too much exercise, and alcohol and drug use. Psychological Reasons can include depression, stress, and problems in your relationship. Roughly 4 out of 10 men over age 45 have low testosterone

  21. I’m struggling with issues of low libido as I’m getting older. I’m worried about its effect on my partner and on our relationship. I just don’t find myself wanting to have sex as much as I was used to. I’m scared that my libido will go down even more as I age.

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